I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
