This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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