He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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