you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
