ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had sex on a roof
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize