BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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