I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize