Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
