All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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