Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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