I'm drive I can fine osifer
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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