sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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