Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So squirting runs in the family.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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