In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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