the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
