I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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