You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
