Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize