I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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