Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
