when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
