Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He better not be in your backpack
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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