whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm at about main and main street
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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