thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
