Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize