So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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