Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)

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(406): also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome) http://tfl.nu/u3lw

Replies (7) Good night (573) Bad night (2033)
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(559): View more from California

my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.

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(559): my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too. http://tfl.nu/gf0r

Replies (10) Good night (4571) Bad night (591)
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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5

Replies (16) Good night (885) Bad night (2780)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(610): So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues? http://tfl.nu/kfs7

Replies (16) Good night (1240) Bad night (3455)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(240): Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug" http://tfl.nu/c6tu

Replies (22) Good night (5840) Bad night (1034)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?

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(919): I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...? http://tfl.nu/n1uy

Replies (183) Good night (5613) Bad night (1113)
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(904): View more from Florida

youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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(904): youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb http://tfl.nu/7q2n

Replies (26) Good night (818) Bad night (5381)
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(518): View more from New York

I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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(518): I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire. http://tfl.nu/37qo

Replies (30) Good night (15896) Bad night (1728)
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(845): View more from New York

That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...

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(845): That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot... http://tfl.nu/l2p1

Replies (3) Good night (2174) Bad night (712)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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(913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m

Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (1116)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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(307): i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/csya

Replies (15) Good night (2974) Bad night (973)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts

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(715): i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts http://tfl.nu/loq4

Replies (10) Good night (2194) Bad night (646)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.

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(614): Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on. http://tfl.nu/zmme

Replies (17) Good night (3603) Bad night (747)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!

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(647): I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers! http://tfl.nu/sbfn

Replies (6) Good night (471) Bad night (519)
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(424): View more from California

Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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(424): Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner. http://tfl.nu/wg9u

Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (203)

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