There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
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Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.