Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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  (352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu
  Replies (31) Good night (2877) Bad night (1439)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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  (614): Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child. http://tfl.nu/h3yl
  Replies (22) Good night (3594) Bad night (1004)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.

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  (814): We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation. http://tfl.nu/gj2w
  Replies (17) Good night (4291) Bad night (1269)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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  (312): i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it. http://tfl.nu/r7km
  Replies (12) Good night (6060) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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  (205): he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off... http://tfl.nu/kran
  Replies (6) Good night (3586) Bad night (875)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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  (706): He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout. http://tfl.nu/uk8o
  Replies (4) Good night (3706) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.

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  (917): Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life. http://tfl.nu/kv1x
  Replies (11) Good night (820) Bad night (974)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

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  (314): A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy http://tfl.nu/x180
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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  (775): Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck? http://tfl.nu/o867
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.

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  (601): So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking? (1-601): Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity. http://tfl.nu/35ca
  Replies (2) Good night (996) Bad night (357)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

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  (918): I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time. http://tfl.nu/atlw
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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  (212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.

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  (408): I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes. http://tfl.nu/ob7s
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress

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  (989): I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress http://tfl.nu/pd3l
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (175)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.

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  (586): Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too. http://tfl.nu/6vdn
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (132)

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