Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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  (213): those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later http://tfl.nu/envj
  Replies (9) Good night (6318) Bad night (722)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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  (201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. http://tfl.nu/5e4z
  Replies (24) Good night (3237) Bad night (759)
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  (510): View more from California

  one might say we're banned from that church

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  (510): one might say we're banned from that church http://tfl.nu/l4dz
  Replies (5) Good night (4075) Bad night (849)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"

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  (330): yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience" http://tfl.nu/9ml9
  Replies (31) Good night (2997) Bad night (1121)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

  (360): View more from Washington

  At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

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  (206): She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant (360): At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats http://tfl.nu/21vb
  Replies (5) Good night (773) Bad night (2329)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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  (248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer. http://tfl.nu/nnju
  Replies (59) Good night (1405) Bad night (6533)
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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  (343): STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS. http://tfl.nu/4nyg
  Replies (1) Good night (3787) Bad night (1448)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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  (410): no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina http://tfl.nu/z7tk
  Replies (15) Good night (2697) Bad night (1169)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"

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  (518): you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!" http://tfl.nu/jby7
  Replies (37) Good night (19072) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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  (602): Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world. http://tfl.nu/6f3f
  Replies (53) Good night (1499) Bad night (8279)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

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  (403): I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain? http://tfl.nu/msrw
  Replies (3) Good night (1940) Bad night (634)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina

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  (808): You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina http://tfl.nu/l91f
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there

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  (215): I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there http://tfl.nu/ipty
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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  (914): my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/thk6
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.

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  (206): I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer. http://tfl.nu/vcs6
  Replies (6) Good night (597) Bad night (151)

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