The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
