you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"