I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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