tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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