IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
