3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
