Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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