Im at strip club and am horny
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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