i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
