Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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