i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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