Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
