evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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