God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
