No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
