it wasn't lemon gatorade
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
