i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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