i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
