I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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