Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
