Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
