HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
