I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
