He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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