i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
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You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize