It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
