remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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