At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
