did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
that is very illegal...i love you.
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