I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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