Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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