That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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