Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
