so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
